July 7. 2009
Finally, my last catch-up post. I feel like I've written a book today:) Our first soccer games of the season were tonight. It was a little crazy trying to get to both games, and watch my niece and nephew, but we made it. As Kade puts it, Kayson is more of a scrapper than we thought he would be. He got right in there and enjoyed himself. He even scored a couple of goals. I think he'll continue to like soccer, but we'll see. Liberty also had fun, but she plays more like me. She seems to enjoy the game, but not the aggressiveness of other players. So when she's at practice it is a lot of fun, but during game time she gets a little more hesitant. We'll see if that goes away with a few more games or not. Either way they both seem to enjoy themselves and I'm glad they get the opportunity to play on a team

Kayson with his team. He's the red guy right up front. Just a funny side story. There was a live mouse on the field that the kids found during Kayson's game. Our substitute coach for the night was a girl and didn't want to have anything to do with it, so the coach from the other team had to go and kick it off the field. It was pretty funny.

Liberty in an action shot! This was hard to get 'cuz she tended to hang around the back of the pack most of the time.

The spectators

Brylee

Hunter and his AWESOME sunglasses:)

July 4, 2009
The Idaho Falls fireworks were awesome like usual. And amazingly enough all of the kids stayed awake for the whole show! We enjoyed the fireworks with cousins, Grammy, and friends. It was a great show, but we were definately ready for bed by the end.

Brylee,

Kayson, Halle, Alyssa, Liberty

Kade, Grammy,

Brancyn, Brylee

Brancyn fell asleep with his new phone one the way home. He was pushing buttons on it right up until he fell asleep. I think that present was a winner:)

July 4, 2009.
Brancyn got a monkey cake for his birthday 'cuz he is such a 'little monkey'. He couldn't figure out the blowing out the candle thing, so Halle helped him out. He definately enjoyed the cake and icecream though. I was glad to see him enjoy it after having a mostly crummy birthday and not feeling up to doing or eating much else. Brancyn finished off with a quick bath in Grammy's sink and then we were off to the fireworks.

July 4, 2009
On to the party time. We did our usual hamburgers for the 4th, but decided to do homemade french fries as a side thinking that Brancyn might be able to enjoy those a little more than chips. Then it was time for gifts. Brancyn was happy with the first gift and could have stopped there, but in the end I think he was happy with the assortment of things he got.

Here is a lovely face stuffing picture. Starting at the top of the circle and going right we have Kate, Brancyn, Kayson, Carter, Liberty, Halle, and Brylee.

Brancyn opening gifts with mom.

Elena got a smile out of him! Brancyn is usually so sweet and full of smiles, but since he didn't feel really great today he kept crying at everyone. Elena was pleased to finally get a smile out of him.

July 4, 2009
I'm going to have to do the 4th in about three posts 'cuz there are just too many pics. We started our big day off with the parade, of course. Everyone rushed to be up and ready in time. And we made it-patriotic clothing and all. We got to go to Grammy's parade this year because we had spent the night there.

Brylee, Grammy, Brancyn, Liberty, and Kayson

Brancyn, Deidra, Kade

Brylee, Kayson, and Liberty

Brylee and Brancyn in their sweet

ride on the way to the parade

Everyone enjoying the parade. Doesn't it feel kind of like a where's waldopicture? Let's see if you can pic out Jarom, Elena,Carter, Kayson, Kate, Alyssa, Halle, Liberty. Now if you got all of those, see if you can find Deidra, Kade, and Brylee. We are a little bit harder to find 'cuz we are mostly hidden:)

Poor Brancyn still wasn't feeling very well

today. He couldn't hold out for the end of the parade.

I have to say that if I was him I wouldn't be all that

impressedwith the 4th of July. Last year he was being

circumcised duringthe parade and this year he was battling

with Roseola. Poorkid, hopefully next year will be better.

July 3, 2009.
Somehow this is the only picture I got at my class reunion. I saw that some people had more pics posted on facebook, but I'm going to have to try and figure out how to get them from them. So for now this is what I've got. These are two of my best friends from high school. Tiff and Nic. Tiff is about ready to pop here any day with her first kid and Nic is on the mend from some not so fun health issuses. It was fun to see both of them as well as the other friends and acquaintaces that were there. It was a better turn out than our five year reunion, but still a little on the small side. Oh well, we had fun anyways.

Update: I was able to snag a picture from a classmate on facebook. So here is some of the group I was able to see at the reunion. Starting with Nicole in the orange, then Tiff (and husband Miles), Me, Kade, Kelly, and Matt. We also sat with Morgan, but she had decided to go mingle by now.

July 3, 2009.
Happy Birthday Brancyn!!!! We didn't celebrate Brancyn's birthday today. Kade and I headed to Malad instead for my 10 year reunion. Grammy was nice enough to watch the kids. We will celebrate Brancyn's birthday tomorrow on the 4th with all of the family that will be around for the day. But, I had to get a picture of the birthday boy (dirty face and all:) on his special day.

June 29 and July 1, 2009
Well the soccer season has officially started. Kayson had his first practice on the 29th and then Liberty was invited to practice with his team on the 1st. Her team practiced one the 2nd. The kids seam to enjoy it, but it wears them out. It is going to be a crazy month trying to coordinate all of their practices and games, but hopefully it will be a good experience.

Kayson dressed and ready to go.

Liberty-so exctied for her turn to try playing soccer

Kayson with some of his team and a neighbor friend

Brancyn and Brylee watching the practice.

Sorry about the washed out pics. My kids had been playing with my camera and I hadn't figured out what I needed to reset yet. Also, I promise I wasn't torturing Brancyn in this photo. He wasn't feeling so well. I felt bad taking him out, but what do you do when you've got kids scheduled for all kinds of things all summer long. Poor kid.

June 28, 2009

We have a girl in our ward that decided to do a little preschool for the neighbor kids. It was a good way to stay busy and earn a couple of bucks. She did a great job. Brylee had so much fun and felt like such a big girl going to 'school'. Today was her graduation and swim party. Thanks Leah! AJ, Kylie, Leah, Brylee, Cambry, and Macey

Brylee receiving her certificate

June 26, 2009
After Gillian and Seth left today, I decided I was in the mood to rearrange the house. I decidied to put the boys in the guest room and the guest room in Kaysons old room. Then we yanked the nasty carpet out of Brancyn's old room. As I was doing all of this rearranging, I decided it was time for Brancyn to move into his big boy bed ( the bottom bunk with a guard rail). The first night he freaked out and had to go back into the crib, but the next night he did great and has been enjoying his big boy bed ever since! Who would have thought, he won't even walk yet-but he is in a big bed. Go figure!

June 25, 2009

Gillian and Seth came to visit us today and pick up an old motorcycle from us. It was also Brielle's (my neice) Birthday. Somehow, the only pics I got of people were at the birthday party.

Hunter, Gavin, Gillian, and Liberty waiting

to hand out gifts to Brielle.
Brogan, Kayson, Michelene, Brielle.
Brielle got the unwrapping thing down
pretty quickly for it being her first birthday!

June 14, 2009.

Kayson got these glasses with the rest of his spy gear for his birthday. I just couldn't resist getting a picture of Brancyn with them on. It's funny how you can see the smile in his eyes even though you can't see most of the rest of his face. He thought these glasses were prerry funny.

June 11, 2009

We had almost 3 weeks of rain in June this year. It was quite unusual for us and made for a not so great start to the kids summer break. So today I decided to pull out the board games with the kids to fight the boredom. It was great for the first few games, but even this didn't keep the fighting and whining at bay for very long. We will be grateful to see the sun.

June 10, 2009

Sleepover Time!!! The kids have been begging for a sleepover with cousins for months. I put them off until summer time, but they day of reckoning finally came. So we invited Halle and Carter over. The kids enjoyed pizza, 'pink juice', strawberry icecream and strawberry cake. Doesn't that sound like perfect sleepover food? Then it was time for wii, videos(hotel for dogs), and lots of giggling and screaming. Kade even supervised for a few hours. I had girls night out from 9-11 that night. I got Brancyn to bed and said goodby. It sounds like he faired well and everyone was in one piece when I got back home! I think everyone had fun. I know my kids did. Thanks cousins for a great night!

Halle, Liberty, and Brlee playing Webkinz
Carter and Kayson making a disaster of his room:)

Enjoying some yummy strawberry cake and ice cream

June 9, 2009
Brylee is taking a summer dance class and is loving it. She tends to be a little shy, but warms up quickly and then has a blast. And I have to say I love it almost as mush as she does. It is so cute watching all of these litttle 3 and 4 year old girls prancing around. The best part is watching them watch themselves in the mirror-they can't get enough of themeselves:)

June 8, 2009
So, it's time to play catch-up once again. I don't know why I put this off so long. In my defense, summer is crazy around here! Gone are the teen summers of sleeping in as late as you want, playing with friends, and doing a few chores here and there. And here comes chores, chores, chores, gardening galore, soccer practices and games, dance, family get togethers, etc., etc., etc., you get the idea:) So now that I've made my excuses, on to the catch-up part. This is a pic of us testing out our new fire pit-we of course broke out the marshmallows. Why have a fire if you aren't going to roast a marshmallow? We had fun with the fire pit and even had the neighbors over. The crazy part is that we are all bundled up in jackets and coats on the 8th of June! This was one of our few sunny days in June, but it was still mighty chilly!

June 4, 2009.

Kayson requested a spy themed birthday party this year. So we did our best to accommodate him. He had a birthdy cake with a magnifying glass and footsteps on it. And he got some much needed spy gear for gifts. He now has walkie talkies, sunglasses, spy glasses, pen flashlight, handcuffs, and i.d. We had Kayson's party at Grammy and Grampy's this year. We had invited them to our house, but then found out Grampy had hurt his knee really bad. So, we decided it would be easier to move the party to their house than it would be for him to have to come to us. It all turned out nice and I think Kayson had a good time. I just can't believe that he is five. That means my little boy will be off to kindergarten this year. Crazy!!!

June 2, 2009
Brancyn pulls the cutest pouty face. He gets the whole family laughing every time he does it. So this video may seem mean, but we had to try and capture it live. It's not the best video, but it was the best we could get because usually Brancyn starts smiling the minute he sees the camera.

June 2, 2009
Brancyn has decided that he really likes to eat dirt, thus weeding the garden has been difficult. So this week I decided to see how he would do hanging out in the laundry basket. I thought it might deter him for at least a few minutes. But, surprisingly he likes the laundry basket and will sit in their playing with his toys and drinking his milk for about 45 min. It's great. That's just enough time to get a good weeding session done in the garden! Hopefully it will last through at least a few weeks of the summer.

May 31, 2009.
Brancyn usually has his bath in the tub, he hasn't really experienced the 'sink bath'. Today it just sounded easier so that is how we did it. He seemed to think that was quite a treat. I couldn't resisit taking a picture:)

May 29-30, 2009

Kayson, Grampy and I headed to our Father and Son's annual campout. Our new ward held it at the Rock Creek Girls camp just like our last ward. We arrived at about 6:15 and set up our sleeping bags. We then headed over for dinner. We weren't the only ones who headed for dinner. Every mosquito in Fremont county was also there. I think I heard of one little boy who had 19 bites by the end of the outing. We had a really yummy dinner. Mashed Potatoes, Chicken, and Jello.

After dinner there wasn't a program so we decided to go to Cave Falls. We found that the cave at cave falls has caved in a little bit so it's more like a cove now instead of a cave. Kayson did not think it was too fun beind up on the pile of rocks so close to the water fall though and got a little bit scared. Although he did have fun looking at the water fall and wanted to go see more, but the closest one was a 6 mile hike and it was already getting dark.

Grampy and Kayson at Cave Falls

Just below Cave Falls

When we got back to camp, Kayson found the marshmallows were out. He asked me to cook him one so I did. When I finished he asked where the graham crackers were. There weren't any so I told him to use an Orea. He really liked it and started showing it to everyone. A few of the older people thought it looked good and they needed to try one. It was an instant hit around camp.

Kayson at the fire

The next morning we woke up and had pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, and hash browns for dinner. The mosquitos were back for breakfast as well. After breakfast we cleaned up our sleeping bags and played a game of kick ball. The kids had a lot of fun playing kick ball and when I say "kids" I include Grampy in that.

Playing kickball

On our way home we stopped at the old Green Timber school for a quick geocache. It took us a few minutes to find it, but we did. Then we headed home to wait for next year's Father and Son's campout.

Green Timber Geocache

May 25, 2009
Everyone was feeling quite a bit better by Monday, so we decided to try a bike ride. This was our longest family bike ride to date!! We even felt like we got a little tast of Yellowstone when we saw some marmots along the way. Brancyn fell asleep pretty quickly and enjoyed a nice nap instead of the scenery. We finished off the bike ride by doing a little geocaching. The bottom picure shows a 'snake head' We were supposed to find the geocache by looking where the snake was looking. The kids found it and brought a toy car home with them for their trouble. The rest of our Memorial Day was spent relaxing and enjoying a nice BBQ. All in all it wasn't too bad.

May 22, 2009.
Well we were supposed to be on our way to Yellowstone tonight, but fear of puking kids kept us home (side note: we thankfully glossed over this sickness with mostly a lot of weakness-no puking). The kids were not going to take their ruined weekend laying down though. When we sent them to put on their P.J.'s, they came back up wearing their version of Captain Underpants costumes. Kayson cracks me up. It looks like he is just wearing underwear bottoms, but really he has pajama shorts on stuffed under the underwear-he didn't want to be immodest:) What a nut. They were all pretty creative with their own interpretations of the costume.

May 20, 2009

The kids and I decided to join Liberty for her end of the school year fieldtrip today. The weather was a little cool and I was afraid it might not be very fun, but it actually worked out great. Since it wasn't so hot, the lions and tigers were out and about. We had a lot of fun together, but I didn't get very many pics 'cuz it was a little nuts with so many school there. I'm glad I got to go spend the day with Liberty, but sadly we came home with stomach flu symptoms starting up which made us miss our annul Memorial Weekend Yellowstone trip:(

May 18, 2009
Sigh . . . . . I love it when my kids are actually playing like they are friends. I wish I could have been closer for this shot, but I was afraid they would move if I went out there . . .so I'll have to settle for this one of the two of them just 'chillin'.

Kayson and Brylee

April 20, 2009
Kylie and Jake are headed to Wyoming for school for the next year. They called and asked if they could stay with us on their way to look for housing. We were excited to have house guests (especially when the guests include cousins)!!!! We enjoyed a good visit and some fun play time while they were here for their short visit.

Rileigh

Jake and Rileigh

April 19, 2009.
This has become Brancyn's favorite past time. Whenever he finds the wipes left on the floor, he pops them open and starts pulling out as many as he can. It reminds me of the magic trick with the scarves. He loves the seemingly never ending supply of 'fun'. I think I'll just have to get him a few containers of wipes for his 1st birthday-he'd enjoy it more than almost antything else I can think of.

CORRECTION

I just wanted to post this correction for the song Book of Mormon Stories in case any of you have been singing it wrong for your whole life. It is "all about the womanites in ancient history". At least that is how Brylee has been singing it this afternoon:)

Kade said my visiting teaching experience today sounded like one Elena would have on her blog, so I thought maybe I better blog it. I kind of ramble and it is long-but I wanted it to look back on. Enjoy if you care to. Maybe it will help me let go of all of the tension I'm feeling at the moment. Anyways, today I had to go Visiting Teaching. I usually try to trade babysitting with a neighbor friend so that I won't have to bring my kids, but it didn't work out this time. So I had to take the kids. We've been talking a lot about consequences at our house, so before we left we reviewed. I told the kids that if they read their books nicely and didn't cause a lot of problems the consequence would be that they could come home and play until dinner-no chores. I told them that if they didn't behave their would be big trouble. So off we went. When we got there, the lady I visit teach had forgotten that we were coming so she had paper spread around on her floor that she was working on. I told her not to worry about it and sent my kids to different areas of the room to read their books. I held Brancyn. Before long Brancyn wanted down, but of course couldn't 'cuz of the papers-so instead he just started yelling at everyone-loudly! So I switched place with my v.t. partner so that i could try and corral him in another part of the room where he could wiggle around. I thought we were good. Nope, a minute later Brylee tells me she thinks Brancyn is stinky ( i didn't bring a diaper bag-we were only goning to be gone for 45 min) So, I asked if we could do the lesson in case I would need to leave soon. I got about two sentences into the lesson when Brylee catches my attention and points at Brancyn. He had had an all out blow out. There was poop up his back and a pile of it all over this lady's entry rug. I was so embarrased. Then I had to go use her bathroom to clean him up. I felt bad 'cuz it made her feel put on the spot about her untidy bathroom ( I totally didn't care whether it was clean or not) But she was trying to spruce up and clean the toilet around me 'cuz she was embarassed ( I felt so bad, I know how it feels to get caught with your house not as clean as I would like) Then I remembered I didn't even have a diaper with me. So my v.t. partner said she'd run home and grab one ( she lives just around the corner) So she did, and we got Brancyn all cleaned up. Back to the living room to finish the lesson. By this point I had lost all of the kids -they were scattering her papers, playing with some noisy monkey toy, climbing on banana chairs and hurting themselves. I couldn't regain order for anything. I even sent them out to the porch, but then it was in and out in and out. ARRRGGGGHHH! At this point I seriously started to tear up ( but hide it) because I was so embarraseed and flustered. My v.t. partner and the lady we visit were so kind about the whole thing and kept assuring me they knew how it was, but I still felt so dumb. Anyways, moral of the story is AVOID taking kids visiting teaching with you if you can. And as for consequences-they aren't good when you behave like this for your mother!

This morning I had someone call and ask me to participate in a survey. I didn't have anything going on so I agreed to do it. Throughout the conversation, they would ask me questions and tell me to rate how I felt from 1 to 10. Brylee saw me on the phone and was asking who I was talking to. I just kept waving her away so that I could hear the questions. After awhile she realized that I was answering mostly in numbers so she came over and started saying 'tell her nine mom tell her nine.' I couldn't hardly concentrate with that little whisper in my ear and it was giving me the giggles. But, we made it through the survey ok. I should have just passed the phone to Brylee and let her do it:)

April 14, 2009.

I have to put one last post on here, mostly for myself. They are a few of my kids funnies that I don't want to forget.

This first one is Brylee. A few days after we got home from Disneyland, she came into me and said. Remember when we went in the ocean and saw Nemo (the finding Nemo ride at Disneyland) I told her that I remembered. Then she said. Do you remember that noise we heard like a "sharp" I told her I remembered and then just laughed. Sharp is a good word for a shark, don't you think?

The other Funny is Liberty's. Kade was out of town for work this last week so it was just me and the kids all week. One night when I was getting them into bed, Liberty said "Dad doens't want you to call him if I'm naughty." I started laughing and said I think what he probaly told you was that he didn't want me to have to call him because you are being naughty. She thought about it for a minute and then agreed that I was right. funny how switching the words around, totally changes the meaning!

April 13, 2009.
Good thing we were having something nice and creamy (like leftover chocolate pie:) for our family home evening treat tonight. Becuase right in the middle of scripture time at the end of FHE, Liberty popped out her first tooth!!! She was ecstatic and started giggling right away. The tooth fairy visited her that night leaving a little something for her piggy bank. Oh, she's getting big! We've been waiting for this all year. Most of her friends have been losing teeth since the beginnning of the year and some even last year, so Liberty was starting to get a little discouraged.

April 13, 2009.
This post is especially for Grammy. Does this picture look familiar? LOL!!!


For those of you who aren't aware, Grammy has a picture of Kade just like this-'sneaking' into the grapes when he was little:)

April 11, 2009.
This post is just for Aunt Elena. This is Brancyn taking part in a Smith tradition. He just finished enjoying his first Reeses Peanut Butter Egg. We got the smaller size this year, but they are still probaly about the size of two miniature Reeses cups and Brancyn finished it all off-enjoying it thoroughly!

April 11, 2009

Finally on to Easter. We had a very nice Easter. We started our day on Saturday going to an Easter Egg Hunt at the local theater. They had the hunt divided into age groups, so all of our kids were in one room. We got into the room just a few seconds late and I didn't realize the hunt had started yet, so I told my kids to wait a minute. Then when I realized it was already going I rushed them off. A lady saw me hurrying them into the hunt, she looked at my kids and then looked at me and said "this is for 4-6 year olds" I assured her my kids were in that age range that they were just tall. I was pretty annoyed with her because she was really kind of snotty about it, but oh well I guess this is something I'm going to have to get used to. Kade thinks we'll get a lot of this attitude when our kids play sports.
Anyways, the Easter Bunny found us early on Saturday. I guess he hits the whold neighborhood on Saturday morning. So, the kids found their Easter baskets full of cany and with a set of colored pencils for each of them to put in their scriputre cases for church. We finished off the day coloring Easter Eggs, and enjoying Eggs Golden Rod for dinner.
On Sunday we enjoyed a nice meeting block and then headed to Grammy's for Easter Dinner. Grammy had made chocolate pies-mmmmmm good! As well as a really nice ham dinner. She had even made an Easter Egg Hunt for the kids. I didn't get any pictures of this, but it was fun to see this tradition first hand. I've heard many story's of Grammy's 'warmer, warmer, hot, hot, hot, hot!!!! But, I've never actually seen Grammy in action on this one:) Thanks Grammy for the nice Easter celebrations.

April 10, 2009.

This is a video of Liberty's first school play (skit) It is only about 60 seconds long, so I thought I would post it on here for the grandma's.

April 7, 2009

Kayson has been begging for a 'two-wheeler' bike ever since our first nice day this year. I have explained to him that he owns a 'two-wheeler' we just need to take of the training wheels. So he has been begging me to take them off. I've been a little hesitant to do it. Not becuase I don't think he can do it, just because he is accident prone and he gets frustrated so easily and I didn't want to hear all of the whining if he didn't pick it up right away. Well Kayson's cousin Carter started riding his bike without training wheels so now it couldn't be postponed any longer. So tonight we took off the training wheels. Kayson did great and was riding it within minutes. We still had a few frustrated fits during the night, becuase he couldn't turn as well as he would like to or get started as quickly as he would like to, but overall he did great:)

He continues to do great other than one major crash going down a hill at the park (although this was because his sister plowed into him:)

April 6, 2009

Kade has played a silly game with out kids ever since Liberty was a baby. When he gets home, he takes off his shoes and socks, then he takes his socks and waves them in the kids face saying "stinky socks, stinky socks" to make them laugh. It is kind of gross, but a tradition in this house anyways and the kids really do think it is funny even as they get older.. Well, Brancyn has already been introduced to this lovely tradition and I think he has picked up the gist of it:)


He had been doing this to Kayson for awhile, but we only caught the last time he did it.

April 1, 2009.
Kayson has been involved in a little neighborhood pre-school this year. The moms each take turns teaching and assisting. Today was my last turn at teaching so I thought I had better get some pictures to remember the event by. Our theme today was 'April showers bring May flowers'. We talked about the water cycle and what seeds need to grow. We then planted beans. Because of the theme and because it was April Fool's Day, I decided to make Dirt Pudding for the kids' snack. I thought most of them would know what it was, but they didn't so I had them going pretty good for awhile. One little girl knew that it really was pudding, but she still thought I had put dirt on top of it and asked me to scrape of the dirt so she could eat the pudding. I then told them "April Fool's" and assured them that it was cookie crumbs and pudding. Then they all dug in and enjoyed the snack. It was fun to see them get so excited to tell their moms that they had eaten dirt and worms for snack!

I have lots of cathing up to do, but I don't know if it will be in order or not. But here goes.

March 20, 2009
We came home from Disneyland with the flu so our plans of a birthday party for Brylee on Monday got postponed. We ended up celebrating her birthday a week late on the 20th. We thought we were done with the flu, so Elena and family, and Emily and Bryon decided to risk it and came to help celebrate. (We weren't done, but thank goodness everyone didn't catch it and those that did didn't get it too bad) We had a Mickey and Minnie party again. It is still one of Brylee's favorites this year. Everyone wore there Mickey or Minnie ears and we had Mickey and Minnie cakes for dessert. Brylee was excited over her new baby gear, dress up, mickey dominoes, and her new bike. It was a pretty good birthday!

I came across this video the other day. Many of you may have already seen it, but I love it and think it's worth watching. Enjoy, if you'd like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Kayson was so cute this morning. He came and asked me if I would play Chutes and Ladders with him. I told him I couldn't right now 'cuz I was in the middle of making bread, but I told him I'd play with him when I was done. Anyways he starts setting up the game and shows me which player I will be. I said, didn't you hear me say I couldn't play right now? He said he heard, but that he was going to play for me. So, he pulls out three players, Kade, Me, and one for himself. Then I hear him in their saying things like, you went far mom! Then it turns to. " You're killing me mom! We're all on the same one, this is a close game." So I might as well have been playing since I got to hear the game play by play anyways. He is pretty good at entertaining himself!